OFFICE BIRTHDAY CAKE

technically a cake-adjacent olfactory experience.

A scented display object engineered for double-takes, questionable conversations, and dramatically improved shelf presence.

Not a sex toy. Not for internal use.

This product is designed solely as a novelty display object and ambient fragrance product. It has not been designed, manufactured, or tested for bodily insertion, genital contact, oral contact, or contact with mucous membranes.

It may possess extremely confident geometry. That does not constitute permission.

THE SCENT

the sheet cake from the break room. the one that arrived in a white box. nobody ordered it. nobody knows whose birthday it is. it tastes like a healthcare plan. our lawyers used the word "adjacent." twice.

GET NOTIFIED

✺ CHOOSE YOUR REGRET ✺

we're not open yet. drop your email and we'll tell you when this becomes a real problem you can purchase.

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