The Situation
We made something we probably shouldn't have.
Legal reviewed it. Legal had… feedback.
So for now, all we can say is this:
it smells. on purpose.
What We Can Legally Show
these are the scents. not the product. the scents.
that new car smell from 1998. the specific one after you spilled a slurpee in the back seat. we nailed it.
wood smoke and regret. no actual fire included. probably.
technically a cake-adjacent olfactory experience. our lawyers used the word "adjacent."
you know exactly what this smells like. we are not sorry. not even a little.
a specific basement. a specific august in 1999. you will know exactly which one.
████ ████████ ████ ████. ███ ██████ ████ ██ ██████ ████.
* scent descriptions are olfactory approximations and do not constitute a warranty, guarantee, or implied promise of any kind. the gas station sushi card is currently under review by an unnamed third party. not our idea.
Still here.
people are already signing up. we genuinely don't know why. you probably shouldn't either. and yet.