We Ship
It
You bought it, you want it, and you want to smell it. We get it. Here is everything you need to know about how your Smelldos makes its way from our headquarters to your doorstep.
The Stealth Mode Pledge
Your business is your business. Period.
- ✓We ship every single order in standard, completely unbranded, plain-Jane cardboard boxes or mailers.
- ✓The return address will read "SD Logistics" or a boring abbreviation — not "SMELLDOS ADULT NOVELTY EXPLOSION."
- ✓Packaging is designed to be discreet. Your postman, your roommates, and your nosy neighbors will have no way to identify the contents from the outside.
The Garage Chronicles
We are a boutique, hands-on operation based out of sunny California. We don't have a million-square-foot warehouse with robots sliding down chutes. We have a highly dedicated executive team (us) hand-packing your order in a state-of-the-art garage.
Because we care about quality — and also because even garage tycoons need a break.
If we cannot ship within the timeframe stated at the time of your order, we will notify you and offer the choice of consenting to the delay or cancelling the unshipped order for a full refund.
Shipping Speeds
Once our courier of choice swings by the garage and takes your package off our hands, standard transit times apply:
Transit time depends on how far you are from California. West Coast: you're getting it fast. East Coast: you have time to think about what you've done.
Tracking: The moment your package is scanned by the carrier, an automated email with tracking info will fly into your inbox. Allow up to 24–48 hours for the tracking link to actually update — the postal gods work on their own timeline.
Lost, Stolen, or Hijacked Packages
Once a package is transferred to the carrier, delivery is subject to the carrier's operations. If tracking appears incorrect, the package is damaged, or the package has not arrived within the expected period, contact us so we can assist with a carrier investigation. Refunds and replacements will be handled according to the circumstances and applicable law.
- →Tracking says "Delivered" but nothing's there? Check with household members and common delivery spots first. If still unresolved, contact us and we will open a carrier investigation.
- →Please double-check your shipping address at checkout. Orders sent to an incorrectly entered address may not be retrievable, but contact us and we will do what we can.
Address accuracy matters. A Smelldos delivered to a stranger three towns over will raise questions neither party is prepared to answer — contact us first and we will see what we can do.
TL;DR
- ✓ Plain, unbranded packaging — nobody will know
- ✓ 1–3 business days to pack, 3–7 days US transit
- ✓ Tracking email sent once carrier scans your package
- ✗ Double-check your address at checkout — we can't reroute a package already in transit
- ✗ Delivery issues? Contact us — we'll assist with a carrier investigation